Rants, Tangents, and Botox

I've come to the decision that you should wear anything that makes you smile, as long as it doesn't stray too far from the bounds of propriety. (Translation: dressing like a hooker strays too far.)

A lot of fashion is totally unreasonable, and many of us have accepted that. We know that open-toe booties and sandals with six inches of leather encasing the ankle are kind of ridiculous. We know that fake hands adorning garments, sequined dresses that weigh more than cinder blocks (I only exaggerate a little), and lens-less glasses have left practicality far behind. And we don't care, as long as they make us happy. And that's okay. That's good. We're having fun.

What brought on this impassioned bit of ranting? A few things.

I spent a few hours at the mall tonight, checking out the new Forever 21, bopping into Zara, and spending a bit of my gift certificate from the camp I spoke at. At Zara, I was weeding through the sale rack when I saw the brightest, most fantastically ugly tunic-tank-sweatshirt-dress thing. It was loud, boldly patterned, and I kind of loved it. After trying it on, I headed to the cash register to pay. The man at the register wrinkled his nose in distaste as I handed over my find. Handling it gingerly, he grimaced at me like I was a crazy woman he was trying to coax from the brink of a breakdown. And then he gently informed me of the return policy.

Clearly he didn't understand my reasoning. I wanted to scream, "The top made me smile, dammit!' but instead I closed my fingers around the handle of the bag he gave me, wished him a good evening, and felt the beginnings of a shopping-induced high. Maybe he'll learn to let loose a bit some day.

Having thoroughly studied the most recent Vogue, I'm not so sure the magazine staff are so in tune with my thoughts either. I guess fashion magazines have to take fashion seriously to keep their credibility- except, of course, the delicious Missbehave - but that is still no excuse for falling into the cliche of releasing an "age" issue. Thumbing through articles informing me what women should wear during each decade of their adult lives definitely makes me feel a little sick, as does detailed accounts of how and when to get some "work" done to get rid of the physical signs of aging. I don't understand why growing older means switching from playful to professional, why a single group of writers can dictate styling choices for thousands of women, their choices based solely on age. I mean no disrespect to Vogue - honestly, it's one of my favorite reads - but I'm upset to see such a major publication give such absolute advice (or at least absolute nonsense.) And making women feel that they need to get botulism injected into their faces and incisions all over their bodies or else be considered unattractive really pushes my buttons. Plastic surgery has its time and place, I suppose, but aging is normal and it happens to everyone. It's supposed to happen. Those wrinkles are a sign of many years spent smiling and walking in the sun. Those bits of loose flesh come from decadent meals and the same gravitational pull that has allowed us to run and jump and relax on the couch all these years. The signs of aging may not be gorgeous, but they are a physical record of the fun we've had living out lives. So please, dear Vogue, try to embrace that. I dare you.

Ooops, did I go off on tangents galore? Oh well. I'm sleepy, so that's my excuse. If I wasn't lazy, I'd break this into two posts.

In conclusion, have fun with fashion, beauty, life, etc. I am not a fan of botox. The end.

Vintage Vogue Heaven

Thanks to those of you who asked how my midterm went! It was a hard test, but I think I did okay. And now that it's over with, I get to spend my time doing more interesting things, like poring over old pictures from Vogue!

The paintings and drawings that filled the past issues have always amazed me with their stunning beauty, but today I'm drawn to vintage Vogue photographs. Check it out:

Gossip Girl, eat your heart out! 1950s fashionistas pulled off the schoolgirl look in a classy, sassy way.

Coco Chanel makes that tangle of gold medallions look so elegant.

I love Goldie Hawn's dress almost as much as I love her pose.

Oooh, Sophia Loren! Smoking kills, children...

I adore this picture of Penelope Tree. I just do. I would wear her outfit out, no questions asked.

If you want to ogle some more vintage photographs, or perhaps feast your eyes on beautiful fashion artwork, head to the Conde Nast store. Also available are pictures and covers from magazines like Vanity Fair, Mademoiselle, House and Garden, and GQ. Enjoy!

Vogue Cover Archives

Having just stumbled across the archive of old Vogue covers, I couldn't be happier. Each magnificent cover is accompanied by an excerpt or blurb that gives us an idea of what was new in fashion at the time.

For example:

December, 1916

"Featuring advertisements from Mappin & Webb and Waterman's fountain pens ('Send it to Daddy – so that he can write long letters to Mummy'), this issue announces that the prevailing trend is one of green: 'The time, the place, or the fabric makes no difference; the Parisienne's day is not complete unless she wears the colour of spring.'"

July, 1926

"Masculine influence tends to be farther and farther removed from the mode. The large quantity of silks employed make for a softer, more feminised mode."

April, 1940

"The Vogue woman is instructed on how to handle welcoming back her husband home for leave from the war: 'He likes to spend some evenings quietly at home; comfortable chairs; easy, idle talk. You in a dress with a sweeping feminine skirt and gentle colours: Worth's dinner dress – the skirt in linen, plaided blue, pink and magenta; the bodice in lilac angora discreetly banded with amethyst stones and sequins.'"

December, 1970

"With Zandra Rhodes' feather print satin dress on the cover, the issue features tunics, smocks and kaftans filling the fashion pages as Africa is the inspiration for the prints and colours of the season. Vogue celebrates the opening of Yves Saint Laurent's boutique for men in London, Revlon advertises the best in false eyelashes, from Basic to SuperSweeper with 12 choices in between, and Eric Clapton is hailed as 'god of guitar – and now of voice?'"

November, 1994

"Linda Evangelista appears in Givenchy on the cover, while Christina Ricci (Mermaid), Macaulay Culkin (Home Alone) and Elijah Wood are hailed as Hollywood's hottest child stars, Plum Sykes attempts to persuade fashionistas to embrace the new neons in place of safe neutrals, and gardening makes the style grade. Yves Saint Laurent himself appears in an exclusive interview in which he refers to himself as the third most famous person in the world – after the Pope (and he can't recall who came second)."

There are plenty more covers to be gaped at in the Vogue Cover Archives - go take a peek!

Also, another exciting development is that I just found Vogue Art on Demand, where you can purchase prints of Vogue fashion photography and cover shots. I think I'll add a few of those prints to my holiday wish list!

Paris, Je T'aime

Has anyone checked out the Paris, Je T'aime editorial in September's Vogue? I totally adore it. I plan to buy a copy of Vogue right away so I can paste these pictures all over my wall. They are classic and gorgeous.

Always in Vogue

I think it's time to write about a truly inspirational lady- Edna Woolman Chase. She was the editor of Vogue from 1914-1952, put on the first fashion show (as a response to WWI), and started the Fashion Group International. She essentially jump-started the American fashion industry (before Edna, most fashion was in Paris). Also, she brought a lot of creative ideas to Vogue during her time there, such as Salvador Dali-directed photoshoots, art-deco covers, and lots of fashion drawings. And of course, she did it all with amazing class and style at a time when professional women were not as respected as they are today. Not only that, but the woman spewed out amazing quotes like there was no tomorrow:

"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess."

"Fashion is general. Style is individual."

"The beaux and babies, the servant troubles, the social aspirations of the other girls seemed superficial. My work did not. I was professional. I could earn my own money, or I could be fired if I were inefficient. It was something to get your teeth into. It was living."

"Once Vogue showed two or three dresses for stout women, but we were so shaken by the experience we haven't repeated it in fifty-seven years. Today...we must acknowledge that a lady may grow mature, but she never grows fat."

"The combination of good taste and sound judgement is what counts. Taste may be a sort of instinct - good judgement is the flowering of sound thinking."

Good quotes, huh? If I can think of half as many intelligent things to say during my lifetime, I'll be thrilled.

I have one more quote left to share. (You should know that I spent some time hunting for these 'cause I am a dork and am totally fascinated by EWC.) But I just wanted to say that certain celebrities, and some, but not as many, non-celebrities, should take this quote into mind when dressing themselves.

"Women seem to have forgotten that men are lured by mystery. There is not much thrill left for them in the styles today."

I don't know about that, but I am all for a little mystery. It's time for the end of trashy dressing. All hail Ms. Chase!