A Quick Break from Working

I'm looking through some old posts, and here are two reader comments I want to share:

"I mean, the way some people . . . have hacked at their faces. . . makes you realize that all of the money in the world can't fix self-hatred. And God forbid I be that way." - Ambika

"I was driving down the street and noticed a very glamorous-looking lady walking down the sidewalk. Then I noticed that her thighs were about twice the size of mine. That's when I figured out that nobody is staring at my thighs, thinking I look fat, everyday like I am." - Rebecca

Wise, eh? Those ladies always seem to know what they're talking about.

EDIT: I did not take the first quote as a racist comment, but I realize now that it can be easily misinterpreted. I am incredibly sorry if you were offended by this. I have removed the parts of the quote that offended, and I hope everyone's okay with that. And, for the record, I am not racist. I love diversity and all it stands for, and one of my favorite things about living in America is that it is such a melting pot of race, culture, ethnicity, religion, etc. 

Oh, and I know Ambika's not racist either.

Time to Be Thankful

I've never really bought into the whole one-day-a-year-to-give-thanks thing. It's a nice idea, but. . . well, doesn't giving thanks feel like something one should do a bit more often? Gala and the iCiNG community do this every Thursday, and even though I don't participate on my blog, I like to keep the "Things I Love Thursday" badge on my sidebar to show my support and whatnot. But, since today is both Thanksgiving and a Thursday, I think it's time to run the first ever Fashion-y Blog TILT. It will be body-related and not in list form, but it's a TILT all the same. Can you dig it?

Today I am thankful for my appearance. It sounds vain, I know, and it pretty much is, but let me explain.

This photo is a bit of an older one (hence the bangs and sandals that would allow for frostbite should I wear them now); details on the outfit can be found here.

Over the past few years, I've become a lot more comfortable with my body. I was never one of those girls who stands in front of the mirror for the sole purpose of bashing every body part, but I've definitely had a mental list of my physical "flaws"at any given time - large nose, knobby knees, a non-flat stomach, over-large boobs - but nothing I've ever found particularly horrific. It may seem weird to list those "flaws" here where everyone can look at my photos and critique how I look, but the fact is I've been appreciating these so-called physical imperfections a lot more lately. Large nose? Not such a deformity after all. Gives my face character, I think. Knobby knees? I think I'm the only one who even notices these, to be honest. I am now nonplussed by them. Non-flat stomach? It's not really natural for most women to have flat stomachs. Even with large amounts of exercise I've never been able to achieve this, because it's a tiny curve I'm meant to have. And curves are a pleasing shape, after all. And my boobs? Again, curves are pleasing to the eye. I think I like 'em after all, even if they make bikini shopping quite difficult.

Yes, I feel a little awkward having written about my chest size knowing that classmates, family members, friends, and the like read this, but I'll let it be. Not something to be embarassed about, really. I've been thinking a lot about body image and how it shouldn't be considered vain or taboo to appreciate the way we look in all its uniqueness. Why should it be? Isn't it a much healthier mindset to find the beauty in ourselves and be proud of that than to be vocal about our hated features while keeping quiet about our loved features? I think so. And for that matter, since I'm spewing out random thoughts as it is, I wish compliments could be given more freely in our society. I often compliment strangers on their clothing or accessories, which never fails to elicit a smile and some friendly vibes (if not friendly conversation), but why is it inappropriate to tell a stranger, "Hi, I just wanted to say I think you have the most amazing legs"? Why can't we receive compliments like these without feeling overly scrutinized or hit on? The fact is, we all notice the way people look, albeit not to the same degree we notice our personal appearances, and it would be good for us to be more vocal about this in a positive way when we live in a society full of eating disorders, idolized stick-thin models, and obesity.

For now, I stick to the safe appearance-related compliments when I want to brighten someone else's day. Eyes and hair, folks, eyes and hair.

I would also like to add that, having spent the last 20 minutes or so ranting about body image, I think the preoccupation our society has with physical appearance is kind of ridiculous. Let's also take the time to appreciate the fact that our bodies are the vessels that keep us alive, that they pump blood, take in oxygen, fight illness, allow us to move and think and experience joy, and generally give us everything we have.

That's my long, rambling, tangent-filled TILT. I hope it didn't make me sound disgustingly positive, disgustingly appearance-obsessed, or disgustingly vain.

What do you love and appreciate about your body? It's a great exercise to list your "flaws" and then think of reasons to appreciate them, but I would also love to hear about what you find absolutely gorgeous about yourself. A collection of positive comments always seems to induce extreme happiness (another reason why Miss Gala's site is so fantastic), so let's make it happen. Go forth and comment, anonymously if you so choose, or proudly under your name. I am thankful for this in advance, haha.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Have a good night! And if you want more positive reading material, check out SARK. I'm currently reading her book Succulent Wild Woman (in tandem with Joseph Campbell's fascinating The Power of Myth, which you should also take a look at) and wow is that woman incredible.

Rants, Tangents, and Botox

I've come to the decision that you should wear anything that makes you smile, as long as it doesn't stray too far from the bounds of propriety. (Translation: dressing like a hooker strays too far.)

A lot of fashion is totally unreasonable, and many of us have accepted that. We know that open-toe booties and sandals with six inches of leather encasing the ankle are kind of ridiculous. We know that fake hands adorning garments, sequined dresses that weigh more than cinder blocks (I only exaggerate a little), and lens-less glasses have left practicality far behind. And we don't care, as long as they make us happy. And that's okay. That's good. We're having fun.

What brought on this impassioned bit of ranting? A few things.

I spent a few hours at the mall tonight, checking out the new Forever 21, bopping into Zara, and spending a bit of my gift certificate from the camp I spoke at. At Zara, I was weeding through the sale rack when I saw the brightest, most fantastically ugly tunic-tank-sweatshirt-dress thing. It was loud, boldly patterned, and I kind of loved it. After trying it on, I headed to the cash register to pay. The man at the register wrinkled his nose in distaste as I handed over my find. Handling it gingerly, he grimaced at me like I was a crazy woman he was trying to coax from the brink of a breakdown. And then he gently informed me of the return policy.

Clearly he didn't understand my reasoning. I wanted to scream, "The top made me smile, dammit!' but instead I closed my fingers around the handle of the bag he gave me, wished him a good evening, and felt the beginnings of a shopping-induced high. Maybe he'll learn to let loose a bit some day.

Having thoroughly studied the most recent Vogue, I'm not so sure the magazine staff are so in tune with my thoughts either. I guess fashion magazines have to take fashion seriously to keep their credibility- except, of course, the delicious Missbehave - but that is still no excuse for falling into the cliche of releasing an "age" issue. Thumbing through articles informing me what women should wear during each decade of their adult lives definitely makes me feel a little sick, as does detailed accounts of how and when to get some "work" done to get rid of the physical signs of aging. I don't understand why growing older means switching from playful to professional, why a single group of writers can dictate styling choices for thousands of women, their choices based solely on age. I mean no disrespect to Vogue - honestly, it's one of my favorite reads - but I'm upset to see such a major publication give such absolute advice (or at least absolute nonsense.) And making women feel that they need to get botulism injected into their faces and incisions all over their bodies or else be considered unattractive really pushes my buttons. Plastic surgery has its time and place, I suppose, but aging is normal and it happens to everyone. It's supposed to happen. Those wrinkles are a sign of many years spent smiling and walking in the sun. Those bits of loose flesh come from decadent meals and the same gravitational pull that has allowed us to run and jump and relax on the couch all these years. The signs of aging may not be gorgeous, but they are a physical record of the fun we've had living out lives. So please, dear Vogue, try to embrace that. I dare you.

Ooops, did I go off on tangents galore? Oh well. I'm sleepy, so that's my excuse. If I wasn't lazy, I'd break this into two posts.

In conclusion, have fun with fashion, beauty, life, etc. I am not a fan of botox. The end.

Relevant (?) Ramblings

Fashion is pretty ridiculous, isn't it? I mean, who decided that it would be a good idea to attach sticks to women's shoes and call them high heels? And who thought that tying strips of fabric around men's necks for formal occasions could be anything other than absurd?

As much as I love fashion, I recognize that it's not to be taken too seriously. I think that the reason people have an impression that fashion is so shallow is because they don't understand that humor is involved, that there is more art in it than practicality.

Fashion is closely entwined with body image, which is pretty ridiculous as well. We live in a society where people consider foot-binding horrific, but are perfectly conditioned to nose jobs and six-inch stilettos. It occurs to me that a woman who has had a nose job and wears cripplingly high heels is not so different from a woman with bound feet; both involve breaking bones, pain, and the inability to walk very well for the sake of beauty. The only difference is that the heel-wearing woman has access to anesthesia and pain-killers.

Go figure.

Just some musings, feel free to discuss. . .

Flawed Beauty

People are always saying "love your flaws" and "flaws are beautiful" and that kind of thing.

I like the idea, and I try hard to believe in it, but sometimes I don't buy it.

This picture of Irina Lazareanu (source) has me buying it:

She is not a classic beauty. She has these tiny, tiny lips, which look gorgeous on her even though big lips are normally considered more beautiful.

If she had big lips, I don't think she'd look as amazing, and she would definitely look less interesting. That double-take factor would be gone.

Just something to think about . . .

Thanksgiving

I'm so psyched for Thanksgiving tomorrow! I often forget to think about the actual point of the holiday (giving thanks) because I'm busy concentrating on all that amazing food. Not this year, though. This year I'm stepping it up. I'm going to concentrate on being thankful for my body, because I think it's a healthy thing to do. C'mon - give thanks with me!

Let's show our bodies how thankful we are for them. They may not be perfect in every way, but they're keeping us alive, right? They help us to run and think and eat cupcakes. They help us to go shopping and party all night. And regardless of imperfections, they somehow manage to make that perfect dress look might hot. So how do we show our thanks to our bodies? By making them even more healthy and beautiful, of course! Let's get started! Here are some ways to thank your body:

♥ Olive oil is amazing. Rubbing it on your face (or the rest of your body, for that matter), letting it sit for a moment, and then washing it off makes for amazing results. I have started to treat my face regularly with olive oil, and it has made my skin clear, soft, and glowy. Also, it somehow caused my pores to shrink! It's a little counter-intuitive to rub oil on your skin, especially if your skin is already oily, but I'm telling you- it works! If you could use some exfoliation, mix a bit of sugar into the oil before you use it.

♥ Take flax seed oil pills 2-3 times a day. You can pick them up at health food stores or supermarkets like Whole Foods, and believe me, your body will consider itself thanked. The Omega-3 contained in the pills is amazingly good for you. Also, the pills do wonders for dry winter skin. Last winter, my eyes and skin were tight and itchy. I asked my (hollistic) doctor about it, and he suggested that I take flax seed oil pills. Within three days, my skin and eyes were back to normal.

♥ Glamour.com is running some great health and beauty programs. There is a 30-Day Makeover program full of healthy tips for learning to "look and feel great in just one month." There's also Body by Glamour, which generates customized workouts and eating plans. I haven't tested it, but it might be worth a try.

♥ Recognize your favorite features and learn to dress them.

♥ Lip exercises for firmer, plumper lips? Hmm....

♥ Learn about the vitamins your skin craves.

♥ Meditate.

♥ Give yourself a manicure.

♥ Learn and practice EFT.

♥ Learn how to accept your "flaws."

Of course all this is too much to do all at once, and of course exercise and good eating habits are the best way to boost your health/beauty. But bring on Thanksgiving - I'm ready to give thanks!

Also, remember: "Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful" - Sophia Loren

How to Accept Your Body and Move On

Here's a dirty secret- Nobody cares about your appearance as much as you do. Seriously, it's true. Think of it this way: How much time do you spend in front of the mirror inspecting some body part, say your skin? I know I can easily spend 10 minutes at a time doing just that. And judging from the huge skincare market, I'm not the only one. Now, when is the last time you spent 10 minutes inspecting someone else's skin? What about 5 minutes? Hell, what about 2 minutes? Chances are, you've probably spent less than 30 seconds inspecting someone else's skin. Why? Well for one thing, it would be socially unacceptable, but also, why should you care enough to bother?! I don't! I'd rather listen to what someone has to say than stare at the size of their pores. It's just a fact. As humans, we are way more critical of ourselves than we are of others. This isn't because we're self-absorbed - though many people are - it's just because it's human nature to be self-critical.

Once you accept this fact, it becomes a lot easier to accept things that you don't like about your body. Sure, you don't like your big hips, but they look great on Beyonce, right? It's easier to like the same attributes that you hate on yourself when they are on other people. Take this knowledge and use it. Find someone beautiful who shares your physical "flaw" and write down why you think it looks good on them. These are the same reasons it looks good on you. Learn to love it! Big eyebrows? Look at Ali Michael. Long chin? It looks good on Sarah Jessica Parker, right? Big lips? See Angelina Jolie. Curves? America Ferrera. These so-called flaws are what makes the appearances of these celebrities unique and recognizable. Remember that.

This technique worked for me. I have a rather large nose that I have always been embarrassed about. Then I saw a big-nosed model in a Taryn Rose ad...



...and I thought she was beautiful. I thought her nose added to her beauty, because it gave her a regal appearance, made her face more interesting, and made her stand out from all the other models with tiny noses.

Well, you know what? My nose does the same thing for me. And I like it a lot better now that I've thought it through.

Learn to love your "flaws." The end.

P.S. Gala Darling always has inspiring "love yourself" articles if you want to read more of this sort of thing.
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This has been an inspirational post instigated by the endless complaining of a gorgeous friend.